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Meeting With the Marriage Officiate

When you are setting up your wedding you'll want to make sure that you meet with your officiate as early as possible. This way you'll have a chance to explain to them what kind of ceremony you want to have. You can also get some advice while you're there too, which may help you form an idea of what you want, if you're unsure exactly what kind of wedding you'd like to have.

For example, a couple may start off thinking they want a traditional ceremony with no personalization. After meeting with the officiate they might realize that they'd like to include elements they hadn't thought of previously. Maybe they could arrange it so their friends could speak at their wedding, or they could decide to write their own marriage vows instead of going with the same old same old. This could make their wedding seem more informal and have an air of togetherness, which might be lacking if they didn't meet with the officiate beforehand and get the ideas turning.

You may find that if you are having a religious wedding that the clergyman will want to talk about marriage with you. Take this opportunity to get a little bit of pre-marriage counseling. Many people find that the counseling they receive before getting married, helped them avoid the need for counseling after getting married. They can also sort out any religious conflicts their may be, if one person is a certain religion, and the other person is a different religion. Some couples get married in a church but are not religious. Don't worry about offending the clergyman if you are not very religious or not religious at all. They can adapt the ceremony to include some nonsectarian items and keep it more general by including popular quotes on marriage and love that you can connect to.

If you don't meet with your officiate before the wedding you're leaving a big chunk of your big day to chance. You'll have know idea if they know what kind of wedding you want and you'll probably get your standard general wedding ceremony with no personalization at all. The officiate might even forget your names, or not know how to pronounce them correctly. Some officiates might even confuse your ethnicity or be caught not knowing anything about you. This only makes your wedding feel impersonal. Your guests will pick up on this feeling and not have as good a time as if they were at a more meaningful ceremony.

Although most people put more planning into the reception than they do the ceremony, this is the part that makes your marriage official. You want to have one that people will fondly remember and one that starts your married life off together well.